Gardening can be a lot of work, but it can also be a lot of fun. And if you have a sense of humor, it can even be a little bit ridiculous. That’s why I’ve put together this collection of funny garden quotes, inspirational garden quotes, and garden wisdom.
Whether you’re a seasoned gardener or just starting out, I hope you’ll find these quotes to be both entertaining and thought-provoking. So next time you’re feeling stressed about your garden, take a deep breath and remember these words of wisdom. They might just make you laugh, or they might just give you the motivation you need to keep gardening.
Funny Quotes About Gardeners
- “All gardeners know better than other gardeners.” – Chinese Proverb
- “A gardener is a person who thinks that everything would be perfect if only it were dead.” – Unknown
- “I’ve never met a gardener who wasn’t a little bit crazy.” – Unknown
- “Gardeners are the original multitaskers. We can weed, prune, and daydream all at the same time.” – Unknown
- “I’m not sure if I’m a good gardener or a bad gardener. I keep planting things and they keep growing.” – Unknown
- “I’m not a very good gardener. I’m more of a dirt disturber.” – Unknown
- “A gardener is someone who spends the first half of their life learning to ignore the weeds, and the second half learning to ignore the flowers.” – Unknown
- “In every gardener, there is a child who believes in The Seed Fairy.” – Robert Brault
Short Garden Quotes and Quips
- “Gardening is not a rational act.” — Margaret Atwood
- “Gardening is not a spectator sport.” – Unknown
- “My garden is not a weed patch, it’s a biodiversity hotspot.” – Facebook Post
- “Gardeners, I think, dream bigger dreams than emperors.” – Mary Cantwell
- “Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy plants, and that’s the same thing.” – Unknown
- “Housework is for people who don’t know how to garden.” – Unknown
- “He who has a garden and a library wants for nothing.” — Marcus Tullius Cicero
- “I’m not lazy, I’m just in gardening mode.” – Unknown
- “Life begins the day you start a garden.” – Chinese proverb
- “Garden as though you will live forever.” – William Kent
Funny Sayings for Vegetable Gardeners
- “Plant carrots in January and you’ll never have to eat carrots.” – Unknown
- “I’m not afraid of heights, but I don’t like standing next to my tomatoes when they’re windy.” – Unknown
- “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” – Miles Kington
- “A gardener is a person who believes that if he sits very still, a tomato will eventually grow in his lap.” – Jeff Smith
- “Gardening is the only sport where you can hurt yourself and still have something to eat.” – Unknown
Punny Gardening Quotes, Jokes, and Wordplay
- “I have a green thumb. It’s just that the dirt is always brown.” – Unknown
- “Gardening is like gambling. You never know when you’re going to hit the jackpot.” – Unknown
- “My favorite exercise is gardening. It really sprouts my enthusiasm!” – Unknown
- “I tried to count my plants, but I kept getting lost in the thyme.” – Unknown
- “My garden is my happy place, where plants and I leaf each other alone.” – Unknown
- “I’m not addicted to gardening; I’m just deeply rooted in it.” – Unknown
- What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? — A maybee!
- Why did the tomato turn red? — Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What did one tomato say to the other tomato during a race? “Ketchup!”
- How do trees access the internet? — They log in!
- What did one flower say to the bee? — “Buzz off, I’m blooming here!”
- What did the big flower say to the little flower? — “Hi, bud!”
- What do you call a potato that’s been in the sun too long? A sun-baked potato.
Who knew weeds could be so funny? – Humorous gardening quotes about weeds
- “A weed is a plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
- “Weeds are nature’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you forgot something!'” – Unknown
- “Weeds are the plants that have mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.” – Doug Larson
- “Weeds are like children: they’re always coming back.” – Unknown
- “Weeding is the art of removing plants that you don’t want, while leaving the ones you do want. It’s a delicate balancing act.” – Unknown
- “I’m not sure what’s worse, weeding or my neighbor’s dog.” – Unknown
- “I’m not sure what’s worse, weeding or my mother-in-law.” – Unknown
- “Weeding is like trying to swat a fly with a sledgehammer.” – Unknown
- “If you have a weed problem, you’re not gardening hard enough.” – Unknown
- “Weeds are the only plants that listen to you.” – Unknown
- “The only thing worse than weeding is not weeding.” – Unknown
- “I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong with my garden. I planted a seed and it grew up to be a weed.” – Unknown
- “I love gardening. It’s so relaxing. Except for when I have to weed. Then it’s just plain annoying.” – Unknown
- “Gardening: The art of planting hope and pulling weeds.” – Unknown
- “Sweet flowers are slow, and weeds make haste.” — William Shakespeare
- “I don’t have a garden; I have a Jurassic Park for weeds. It’s like a prehistoric weed-venture out there.” – Unknown
“In a world full of roses, stand out like a dandelion in the middle of a green, plush lawn!”
–June Stoyer
Funny Gardening Sayings About Marriage
- “Gardening is like marriage. Success depends on patience, hard work, and a green thumb.” – Unknown
- “Gardening is cheaper than therapy. Until your spouse adds up the receipts.” – Unknown
- “Plant and your spouse plants with you; weed and you weed alone.” – Jean Jacques Rousseau
- “Marriage is like gardening. You have to weed out the bad, water the good, and enjoy the flowers.” – Unknown
- “A successful marriage is like a garden. It needs constant care and attention, but it’s worth it in the end.” – Unknown
- “Marriage is like a plant. It needs to be watered regularly, but not too much. And it needs to be pruned occasionally, but not too much.” – Unknown
- “Marriage is like a garden. It’s beautiful, but it can be a lot of work.” – Unknown
- “Marriage is like a vegetable garden. You have to weed out the bad, water the good, and enjoy the fruits of your labor.” – Unknown
“A garden is a work in progress, a living thing that changes with the seasons.”
– Unknown
Flower Garden Quotes
- “Flower gardening is like life. You have to plant the seeds, water them, and nurture them. But you never know what you’re going to get.” – Unknown
- “Flower gardening is like therapy. It’s a great way to relax and de-stress.” – Unknown
- “Flower gardening is like a gift. It’s something you can share with others to brighten their day.” – Unknown
- “Flower gardening is like love. It’s something you have to nurture and care for, but it’s worth it in the end.” – Unknown
- “Flowers are restful to look at. They have neither emotions nor conflicts.“ — Sigmund Freud
“Don’t wear perfume in the garden – unless you want to be pollinated by bees!”
— Anne Raver
Quotes about Gardens and Society
- “A garden is a place to share with others. It is a place to bring people together and create memories that will last a lifetime.” – Unknown
- “My passion for gardening may strike some as selfish, or merely an act of resignation in the face of overwhelming problems that beset the world. It is neither. I have found that each garden is just what Voltaire proposed in Candide: a microcosm of a just and beautiful society.” — Andrew Weil
- “For me, the different religions are beautiful flowers from the same garden, or they are branches of the same majestic tree. Therefore, they are equally true, though being received and interpreted through human instruments equally imperfect.” — Mahatma Gandhi
- “A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.” – Greek Proverb
- “Plants, like people, are social or anti-social: the good plant has to be able to live amicably with other plants in the border.” ~ Richardson Wright
Quotes about Gardening and the Human Condition
- “But though an old man, I am but a young gardener.” — Thomas Jefferson
- “Gardening adds years to your life and life to your years.” – Unknown
- “A garden is like the self. It has so many layers and winding paths, real or imagined, that it can never be known, completely, even by the most intimate of friends.” — Anne Raver
- “I’m not getting older, I’m just becoming a classic perennial.” – Unknown
- “Gardening simply does not allow one to be mentally old, because too many hopes and dreams are yet to be realized.” – Allan Armitage
- We learn from our gardens to deal with the most urgent question of the time: How much is enough?” — Wendell Berry
Gardening Wisdom
- “Gardening is a form of self-expression. It is a way to create something beautiful that reflects your own unique personality.” – Unknown
- “A garden is a place to relax and de-stress. It is a place to escape the hustle and bustle of everyday life.” – Unknown
- “A garden is a place to learn and grow. It is a place to experiment with new plants and techniques.” – Unknown
- “The garden is a place where beauty and utility meet.” – Unknown
- “Gardening is a form of meditation, a way to connect with nature and with oneself.” – Unknown
- “A garden is a place where you can dig up your troubles and plant hope.” – Unknown
- “There are no gardening mistakes, only experiments.” – Janet Kilburn Phillips
- “The love of gardening is a seed once sown that never dies.” – Gertrude Jekyll
- “Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.” — Albert Einstein
- “Gardens are not made by singing ‘Oh, how beautiful,’ and sitting in the shade.” — Rudyard Kipling
- “To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.” — ― Audrey Hepburn
- “Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed.” — Francis Bacon
- “A garden requires patient labor and attention. Plants do not grow merely to satisfy ambitions or to fulfill good intentions. They thrive because someone expended effort on them.” — Liberty Hyde Bailey
- “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” — Abraham Lincoln
- “Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.” — Oscar Wilde
- “The garden suggests there might be a place where we can meet nature halfway.” – Michael Pollan
- “I look upon the pleasure we take in a garden as one of the most innocent delights in human life.” — Marcus Tullius Cicero
- “It will never rain roses: when we want to have more roses we must plant more trees.” — George Eliot
More Gardening Quotes and a Bit of Advice
- “Don’t wear perfume in the garden – unless you want to be pollinated by bees!” — Anne Raver
- “Your first job is to prepare the soil. The best tool for this is your neighbor’s garden tiller. If your neighbor does not own a garden tiller, suggest that he buy one.” — Dave Barry
- “Always try to grow in your garden some plant or plants out of the ordinary, something your neighbors never attempted. For you can receive no greater flattery than to have a gardener of equal intelligence stand before your plant and ask, “What is that?” — Richardson Wright
- “The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second-best time is now.” – Chinese Proverb
“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.”
— Robert Louis Stevenson
Gardens as Art Quotes
- “A garden is a work of art in which the artist is constantly changing.” – Gertrude Jekyll
- “Flower gardening is like painting. You have to mix the right colors, add the right amount of water, and hope for the best.” – Unknown
- “Flower gardening is like life. You have to plant the seeds, water them, and nurture them. But you never know what you’re going to get.” – Unknown
- “Flower gardening is like art. You have to use your imagination and creativity to create something beautiful.” – Unknown
- “A garden is a work of art that is never finished.” – Unknown
- “A garden is a beautiful thing to behold, but it is also a work of art. It takes time, patience, and care to create a garden that is both beautiful and functional.” – Unknown
- “My garden is my most beautiful masterpiece.” – Claude Monet
- “Gardening is how I relax. It’s another form of creating and playing with colors.” –Oscar de la Renta
- “I perhaps owe having become a painter to flowers.” – Claude Monet
- “Gardening is like a dance with nature, except sometimes nature accidentally steps on your toes.” – Unknown
- “All gardening is landscape painting.” — William Kent
Quotes Only Gardeners Fully Understand
- “I have seen women looking at jewelry ads with a misty eye and one hand resting on the heart, and I only know what they’re feeling because that’s how I read the seed catalogs in January.” –Barbara Kingsolver
- “Gardening is the purest of human pleasures.” — Francis Bacon
- “I like gardening. It’s a place where I find myself when I need to lose myself.” – Alice Sebold
- “I spent a lifetime in a garden one afternoon.” – Craig D. Lounsbrough
- “Gardening: the art of nurturing plants and then apologizing to them when they die.” – Unknown
- “In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.” — Margaret Atwood
- “The glory of gardening: hands in the dirt, head in the sun, heart with nature. To nurture a garden is to feed not just the body, but the soul.” – Alfred Austin
Gardening Quotes about Deer and Other Pests
- “If you have a deer problem, you’re not gardening hard enough.” – Unknown
- “Weeds are the only plants that listen to you. Deer are the only animals that don’t.” – Unknown
- “Deer are like teenagers: they eat everything in sight and leave a mess behind.” – Unknown
- “Deer are a gardener’s worst nightmare. They can eat everything in sight, including your prized roses.” – Unknown
- “I’m not sure what’s worse, weeding or my neighbor’s dog. Or the deer.” – Unknown
- “A garden is a place where beauty and utility meet, and pests are the enemy of both.” – Unknown
- “I’ve learned to live with the deer in my garden. I just call them my ‘free lawnmowers’.” – Unknown
- “I’m starting to think that the deer are smarter than me. They always seem to find a way to get into my garden.” – Unknown
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